. classically modern .: Nearly Nautical Nuptials : A Few Special Words

When we left off, I had just made my way down the aisle.

Mr. Gloss’ father was our officiant. He welcomed our guests with a greeting…

My Little Brother read an excerpt from “The Art of a Good Marriage” by Wilfred Arlan Peterson.

“A good marriage must be created.
In marriage the “little” things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say, “I love you” at least once a day.
It is never going to sleep angry.
It is having a mutual sense of values, and common objectives.
It is standing together and facing the world.
It is forming a circle that gathers in the whole family.
It is speaking words of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.
It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.
It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is not only marrying the right person — it is being the right partner.”

Then we exchanged our vows. Mr. Gloss wanted to go with traditional vows (mostly because he didn’t want to have to write and/or remember anything) but I really wanted something that resonated more with ‘us’. I told him I would figure them out and that he didn’t have to memorize anything, just repeat after his dad. He agreed to this. I searched and copied/borrowed from others* who have married before us (and posted their vows online) and we ended up with this:

Our officiant said:

Mr. Gloss & Miss Gloss, the symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in the past years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this - is my husband, this - is my wife. (partially taken from Robert Fulgham's Union)

And then we got to say:

I, Mr. Gloss/Miss Gloss, choose you, Miss Gloss/Mr. Gloss, to be none other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not yet know.

I will respect you as an individual, a partner, and as an equal.

I promise to laugh with you when times are good, and endure with you when they are bad.

I will always adore, honor and encourage you. You are my best friend and I will love you always.

Short, simple, sweet. I love them, I cried when I read them to Mr. Gloss the first time, I cried when we said them on our wedding day, I cried a little bit typing them now. They are so perfect for us.

(and I wasn't the only one who teared up a little)

Mr. Gloss’ little sister did a reading next, 1st Corinthians 13:4 :

“Love is patient, love is kind
It is not jealous, is not pompous,
it is not inflated, it is not rude,
it does not seek its own interests,
it is not quick tempered, it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing
but rejoices with the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.”

This was followed by the sermon, and then by our ring exchange.

Mr. Gloss and Miss Gloss, the promises which you have spoken to each other today are inscribed forever in your minds, and in your hearts. But words are fleeting, and so those who marry wear rings as visible, tangible symbols of their commitment and of their emotional and spiritual connection. These rings announce to the world that you have been found. They are a reminder and a celebration of the promises you have made today and in exchanging these bands you knit your two lives together as one.

Mr. Gloss' brother and best man handed him my ring.

And then we said:

I give you this ring, that you may wear it as a symbol of the vows we have made this day. I pledge you my love and respect, my laughter and my tears. With all that I am, I honor you.

Woohoo! More bling :). I had already given Mr. Gloss the pep talk about which finger to put the ring on. I said “Don’t look for my e-ring, no – I haven’t lost it and yes I will be wearing it – but it will be on the wrong hand.” He didn’t fully understand, but complied - phew.

And then we called for a little group participation :

Each of you are here today because you bring something special to the lives of Mr. Gloss & Miss Gloss. Some of you have known one or both of them for years - and some of you are meeting one of them for the very first time today. But whether you’re an old friend or a new relation, you have a special place in their hearts. Likewise, you have a special purpose. As beloved family and friends, it is you to whom they’ll turn in the coming years, whether in joy or in sorrow. It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness, and you to whom they’ll bring their pain. You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow. And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed, Mr. Gloss & Miss Gloss hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other. And so they ask that you commit to them, as they are committing to one another. That just as they pledge to support and protect the other, you pledge to support and protect their relationship, today and always.

Do you offer this man and woman your blessing as husband and wife and offer their marriage your support, as loving friends and family? Please say, we do.
(Everyone responded, ‘We Do!’)

Please rise and toss a rock into the water as a gesture of your support.

It was really cool to hear all the rocks ‘plunking’ into the water. Some of the more sneaky wedding guests confessed to not actually throwing the rock with our names and wedding date on it into the water because they wanted to save it. They did however, think of this plan beforehand and threw in a regular rock instead. One such sneaky wedding guest depicted below: